Here We Go…

I really didn’t want to have to write this post.

I’m fucking terrified. The initial tests came back from the fluid they drained from Scott’s lung, and it’s bad news. They found cancerous cells. There’s obviously more testing to be done, so we can find out what type and stage.

I’m heartbroken and terrified, but trying to hold it together. It took me 31 years to find this man, and after only having eight months with him, I’m faced with the (very real) possibility of losing him. Everyone keeps telling me he’ll be fine, that he’ll beat it. They haven’t seen cancer the way I have. They haven’t seen their mother wilt away. There’s not some magic pill that’s just going to make this go away.

This blog is about to get real, real fast.

Fuck you, cancer.



Posted on February 21, 2015, in cancer, changes, Depression, family, Illness, life, Loss, love, mom, Scott and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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