Monthly Archives: February 2016
When I started this blog in October 2014, it was an outlet to document the day-to-day life and drama of the end of my three year marriage and moving in with a man who was (then) 54 years old. I expected judgment, which for the most part, has not happened.
I never went into a lot of details about why I left STBXH, just that I did. I realize that it looks like I left him for Scott, due to the timeline. And, I did take a lot of the blame on myself. I literally met Scott within hours of telling STBXH I was done. It was over.
Honestly, if it weren’t for Scott, I’d probably still be stuck in that marriage.
Why? I was being Financially Abused. I never would have been able to save up to rent an apartment. Despite me bringing in around $1,500 each month, we were always broke. My paychecks would be gone before they hit the bank. He’d spend half of my (cash) child support on delivery foods before I got home from work. He spent over $200 on my child support card in one weekend. Without leaving the house. I worked full time, he stayed home and did God knows what. He did “Ghost Tours” on the weekends. Yes, sometimes (although rarely, usually in October), it brought in good money. Up to $200 a night.
I’m just now realizing how bad things really were…
These days, I still blog as an outlet to document my day-to-day life, only now it’s more positive. I’ve broken free of STBXH’s grasp. In the early days of “Starting Fresh”, he told me NOT to post anything negative about him. I have screen shots of thinly veiled threats if I didn’t stop showing STBXH in a negative light. Yeah, fuuuck that.
The way I see it is:
A. I’m giving ZERO information as to who any of us really are.
B. Only ONE of my friends has been given the web address.
C. It’s my blog, and I deserve an outlet to write/talk about/vent about what I’ve been through.
D. I don’t just deserve it, I NEED it.
I’m not entirely sure what’s gotten into me lately…
I’ve been in an amazing mood, but in bitch mode at the same time. I’m just waiting for someone to set me off, so I can explode on them. (Preferably, one of two people.) I think I broke my filter, and I’m enjoying every minute of it.
My give a damn’s busted, but my I don’t give a fuck is still fully functional.
Bahaha. Things shifted for me Monday. I was talking to one of my friends about everything going on. How I’m losing friends left & right (seriously, I’m going to end up being my own bridesmaid at this rate). And something just clicked.
I don’t need these people in my life. I decided to purge my friends, because I don’t want to be around druggies, sociopaths, or violence anymore. I deserve better than that.
Although, the girl I posted about the other day? I’m keeping her on my friends list. I found out something about her fiancé that I’m not sure she knows about. Something that will make it impossible for her to get her kids back. In 2012, he stabbed his stepfather in the head with a steak knife. That man will never be welcome in my home.
It’s been FOREVER since I’ve posted “WTF Wednesday”.
Over a year, if I remember correctly.
So… here we go…
WTF, body? The Bitch wasn’t supposed to start until today. Starting yesterday was an unexpected, unwelcome surprise.
WTF, whoever tried to hack my Facebook yesterday? I can’t imagine why you’d want to hack my super exciting account. I do, however, have an idea or two as to who it was… Thank goodness, I have my phone attached to my account. I got THREE separate texts with password codes.
WTF, Facebook? I fixed the problem, and then you don’t wanna let me back in? Luckily, I’m fairly good with technology and solved the issue within minutes.
WTF, weather? Are ya trying to kill me? Forty-two inches of snow a week and a half ago, and now 2-3 inches of rain and temps in the 60s? Are you trying to drown everyone?
WTF? Just… What.The.Fuck?
Now, I just feel like being a bitch.
((This post talks briefly about PMS and period symptoms. And sex. Nothing graphic.))
(Men, you have been warned.)
I’m due to start The Bitch on Wednesday, and my PMS symptoms are in full swing. No, I don’t become a raging bitch, I become a sweet, clingy, needy girl. Seriously. I just wanna be held and cuddled.
So, the other night, after extremely emotionally driven sex, I look at Finn and ask if we’re going to talk about babies within the next two years. I’ll hit advanced maternal age (35) on December 13, 2017.
His answer made me even more emotional…
Him: I was hoping for this year.
Me: I thought you wanted to be married first?
Him: Making a baby is different than having a baby.
Sooo… Finn wants to be married and/or have me knocked up this year.
This is it. It’s happening.