Monthly Archives: April 2016


I can’t believe it’s already been a month since my last post.

It’s been a combination of nothing and everything. Yes I know, oxymoron. Nothing to post, but everything happening.

Finn and I celebrated our one-year anniversary on March 22nd. Unfortunately, he had to work that night, so we had little time to actually celebrate. I made a special dinner for him, and stayed up late to spend some time with him. I know  we’re lame.

My thoughts have been all over the place as of late. Finn, Scott, everything else.

For Finn, it’s been “no one has ever loved me as much as he does.” A few weeks ago, we were standing in the kitchen working on dinner, and all of a sudden he looks art me with an expression that can only be described as awe.  In that moment I could see his love for me. I’ve never seen that look on anyone’s face while looking at me.

He’s my happy. He’s the reason I made it through 2015 without being admitted to the psych ward. I’d be lost without him, as I still try to heal from STBXH.

For Scott, it’s been “Sometimes it’s easier to believe the lie, than to accept the truth.” He’s broken his promise to me. And that’s one thing I won’t tolerate. When I was still living with him, it was easier for me to believe that he was doing it for my own good, but since I moved out, its been easier to believe that he never loved me. I believe he felt affection for me, and maybe even attraction. But love? Love is a long shot.

There’s also been issues with STBXH, but I’ll save that for another post.