Category Archives: babies

Hypothetical Babies & Boundaries

(This post is full of labor and delivery TMI. I don’t go into in depth details, though. Read at your own risk.)

Sooo… I’ve been off birth control since May. I finished the cycle I was on when we got engaged, and that was it. I’ve been charting ever since. It was amazingly easy to slip right back into the old habit. 

My two previous births couldn’t be more different.

With my first, I went into labor naturally (on my due date!!!), progressed quickly (3cm to 9cm in less than two hours), doctor had to break my water, and baby was in my arms after 5 pushes. No epidural. I didn’t even have time to get the standard IV.

With my second, my water broke naturally, even though I hadn’t dilated at all. If you understand labor and cervix jargon, I was 0% effaced, 0 dilated, and at -2 station. To put it simply, my body was in no way ready for labor. Baby hadn’t even dropped. Dispite that, I had to be induced, since my water had already been broken. That’s when things went south. 

I started having contractions quickly. Nothing I couldn’t handle. Been there, done that. However, once I hit 6cm, all hell broke loose. My water fully broke, since it was only a leak before. Baby hadn’t dropped yet, so when my water broke, and my uterus shrank, due to losing so much fluid at once, his cord presented. 

A very serious compilation, that could lead to stillbirth.

I was prepped for surgery immediately. As they were wheeling me into the Operating Room, I told the anesthesiologist to just “knock me out,” since I knew it would be quicker than trying to place an epidural and wait for it to do it’s magic. 

Finn and I aren’t necessarily trying to conceive at this point, but we aren’t not trying, either. He knows my history with childbirth (even though he STILL can’t see my c-section scar without me pointing it out). We’re both hoping that when the time comes (god willing), I’ll be able to deliver naturally. However, I also understand that an epidural is a MUST, just in case compilations arise. 

This is where boundaries come in. 

I was only 23 when I had my c-section, and very, very passive. I had constant guests, and since my primary nurse has known me since I was a kid, she didn’t just bend the “no more than three visitors at a time” rule, she all-out broke it. At one point, I think I had about ten visitors in that room. I was still in my hospital gown, still had my morphine drip, and wasn’t allowed out of bed. Not even to go to the bathroom. 

So, I told Finn that **if** we ever have a baby, I didn’t want visitors until the catheter (TMI, sorry!) was removed. No visitors while I’m laboring, no one sitting in the waiting room, no visitors until we’ve had time to bond with baby. 

Cart before horse? Maybe. But I don’t want to spring it on him while we’re driving to the hospital. 


Well, Damn…

We’re still trying to organize everything at the new place. It’s been sort of a rough go of things, since we’re combining his and hers (he still had stuff at his parent’s place, and I still had stuff in storage), not to mention all of the housewarming gifts.

Sooo, anyway… We’re in our bedroom working out measurements for how to arrange furniture. Next thing I know, he’s measuring the little alcove we have in the corner of the room. He asks:

F – “Hey, what are the measurements of a crib?”
M – “Hell if I know. Why?”

Then it dawned on me… He’s planning ahead. I’m thinking our recent pregnancy “scare” (his parents have no idea) has kinda opened his eyes. He’s ready. I’ve been ready. We’ve just gotta get our ducks in a row. But one of them fuckers keeps running away (in the form of a divorce).

For Finn:
No babies till my divorce is final.

For Finn’s dad:
No babies till we’re married.

For Finn’s mom:
Just give me the babies.

For me:
I ain’t getting any younger.

Sooo… yeah. We’re ALL wanting this divorce to be finalized ASAP. But…  Shit happens. First STBXH refused to give me his address, then the courthouse needed more information from me (Finn’s car blew up and I had no transportation to the courthouse), then we were having money issues (dropped our entire savings on the down payment for the truck). Now we’re just waiting on STBXH to file, cause I’m tired of the bullshit about him not wanting to give me his address. Fuck that noise.

So…  STBXH, if you’re reading this, can you PLEASE hurry it up? I’ve got things to do.