Category Archives: changes
Last week, this blog hit it’s third birthday. It’s been my outlet through the separation and divorce from XH, the relationship with Scott, his cancer diagnosis, the subsequent breakup, meeting Finn, and has chronicled our entire relationship, from the first meeting, to the engagement and wedding planning, and now our marriage.
A lot can change in three years.
When I first started this blog, it was meant to be an outlet for my thoughts throughout everything I was dealing with. Even if it was never publicly posted, it was still chronicled in private posts that were never meant to be seen by the public eye. I never expected to have one follower, let alone the 180+ I have. Small number, yes, however, none of my followers know me personally.
While friends and family are aware of this blog’s existence, I’ve never given them the web address. No one’s asked for it, as they know it’s my outlet, and respect my right for anonymity online.
I will forever be grateful that this blog helped me rise from the ashes of my last marriage.
I asked my Aunt yesterday to help us set up the pavilion pre-ceremony, as well as to help me get ready at the church. It means A LOT to me, since she’s the closest, biologically, to my mother. If my Mom can’t be there to zip me into my dress, my Aunt is the next best. I know it meant a lot to her that I asked.
I told Finn this, in front of his brother (the one who guilted him into naming him best man, but that’s a whole other can of WTF), who was there to pick him up for his bachelor party. After that conversation, the following happened.
BM = brother/best man
F = Finn
M = Me
BM – I’m not going to be able to help set-up for the reception. I have to work the night before.
M – That’s ok, my Aunt and Uncle said they’d help.
BM – FBIL and FSIL (the ones I’ve posted about. Repetitively) are going to help decorate.
M – No, that’s ok. Aunt and Uncle will be there.
F – (says something I forget)
BM – FBIL and FSIL WILL help.
… silence …
First of all, I FUCKING HATE to be told how things are going to happen.
Second of all neither Finn nor I do well with demands, and that’s exactly what it felt like.
Third of all, we haven’t asked them for their input on ANYTHING. Absolutely nothing at all. In fact, I’ve avoided giving FSIL any details.
Fourth of all (seriously?), No. Just… No. His family have done all they can to take over the ceremony. The reception is MY baby. It’s my blood (no, literally, I cut myself a couple of times), sweat, and tears that went into planning out the decorations, and then making them WITH MY OWN TWO HANDS. I will most definitely lose my shit if someone ruins any of my hard work.
So, yeah. I’m fucking irritated. They’ve done everything they can to take over this wedding, and I’m at my wits end with the whole lot of them.
Finn’s not to happy with them at this point, either. BM said he was planning on leaving the reception after his speech, told us that their mom probably won’t come to the reception (that one I 100% understand, as she just had surgery), and that the rest of the family probably won’t, either. Finn said that if they don’t come, he won’t speak to any of them for a year.
Six more days of this shit, and I’m done.
After yesterday’s fiasco, I’ve lost all motivation I still had for any and all wedding craftiness. Which puts me in a bad spot, since I currently DO NOT HAVE A BOUQUET. I dismantled it last night.
We went out to the store last night, and surprise! they aren’t carrying any of the flowers I had originally purchased for the bouquets anymore. They were seasonal. Fuck me.
So, we run to another store to see if they have any. They do, but… It’s the same price I originally paid for a bush of 6 flowers for a SINGLE STEM. I ain’t even gonna lie, I broke down and cried, right there in the silk flowers department. I was devastated. I ended up getting a a bush of pink roses, a bush of white roses, a single tiger lily, and two white dahlias. It’s not the same, but it could be a whole lot worse.
Why did I have to dismantle my original bouquet?
Well… that answer is twofold:
- The store last night didn’t have blue hydrangeas, and I had a few extras at home.
- The flowers we purchased last night are a MUCH better quality. My MOH, Finn, and myself are all in a agreement that I, as the bride, deserve the higher quality flowers.
I got fussed at by both of them for calling myself a bridezilla for saying that. That did make me feel a bit better.
So, now I sit here, with no bouquet, and no motivation to redo it…
Z started middle school today. All honors classes, except for English/Language Arts, in which he’s gifted.
So, lots of changes this school year. Lots of changes in 2017 in general, though.
While we were out shopping for wedding supplies Saturday, Finn’s mom called to ask about our plans. He told her that we were waiting to finalize the venue before we dove too far into the decorations. Fair enough.
She goes on to say that SIL wants to help with the decorations.
This makes me feel even more suspicious. It feels like she wants to live vicariously through me, since she never had an actual wedding and reception.
I rolled my eyes sooo hard when Finn told me. He gets it. Our tastes are vastly different. She wants a $26k ring vs my less-than-$100 moissanite bridal set.
We’ve been told no less than four times that she wants to help, and I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. I don’t want her anywhere near the crafty end of the decorations. I’ve put a lot of thought into what I want, and being naturally crafty, I don’t trust anyone else to do it to my standards.
Yes, I realize that makes me sound like a bitch and a bridezilla, but it’s the truth. I take a lot of pride in my craft work. It’s kind of my gig. I have been paid for my creations. Once upon a time, I had two active online shops. So yeah, it’s safe to say that I’m good at what I do.
So, onto yesterday…
I fucked up. SIL caught me in a moment of weakness (dealing with some pain from a splinter IN MY ASS. Seriously, it hurts to sit on any surface that’s not heavily cushioned. You have my permission to laugh), and I gave her the link to my Pinterest wedding board.
She’s running with it. And for some weird ass reason I’ve yet to figure out, she’s pushing bamboo cutlery. Like, fuck, let me breathe. Finn and I are paying for this whole gig out of our own pockets.
No Pay, No Say.
Suggestions are all well and good, but in the end, Finn and I have final say. I don’t want this wedding to become a three ring circus. My last wedding, the in-laws took over, and it ended up being almost completely the opposite of what I wanted.
Fuck, just let us have the wedding we want. Damn.
Still looking for volunteers for ‘red wine duty.’
Finn’s brother and sister-in-law just stopped by, thinking he was home (nope, he’s a workaholic, works approximately 53 hours a week). They mentioned they were (finally) looking at wedding rings. They just had to mention that the rings they’re planning on getting are $16k a peice.
SIXTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS FOR A HUNK OF METAL AND ROCKS TO WEAR AROUND YOUR FINGER
I’m seriously dumbfounded hearing this. And then. AND THEN. She speaks up and says it’s too small.
TOO SMALL? A SIXTEEN THOUSAND DOLLAR RING IS TOO SMALL?!?! That’s, at the very least, a 3cttw diamond. Seriously.
The ring she wants is twenty-six thousand dollars. Holy shit! That’s a house in this area. She’d rather have a ring than a house?!?
As I said in this post, she’s been acting weird whenever my ring, or Finn and I’s wedding is brought up. I thought it was jealousy, but now I’m about 99.999% sure that’s exactly what it is/was.
They’re (or, at the very least, her) attempting to show us up. I’m hoping (PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD) that this shit is out of their system before Finn and I’s wedding.
I’m definitely assigning someone to red wine (Gatorade?) duty.
I had a meeting with the school district’s Eligibility Committee this morning, and Z officially has his Individual Education Plan (IEP) for being gifted.
Since we’re at the tail end of the school year (three weeks to go!), it’ll come into effect when he starts middle school at the end of August.
But, holy crap, it’s been one helluva year, and we’re not even halfway through it yet.
- Z’s surgery
- My divorce
- Z being placed in all honors classes next year
- Our engagement
- Z being vetted as gifted.
We can only hope this year continues on this path.
By four little fuzzy feet.
He’s simply been a joy to have in our home. He’s a sweet little fuzzbutt. And when he’s hyped up, his little bobtail gets to wagging, causing me to giggle every time.
We tossed around a few names for him, but Phoenix stuck, mainly for the symbolism. In mythology, a phoenix is a bird that bursts into flames when it’s time to die, and is then reborn from the ashes.