Category Archives: holidays

We Didn’t Go…

Murphy’s Law (anything that can go wrong, does go wrong) hit around here yesterday. I woke up to a text from OS, after having not spoken to her since late August. I didn’t reply. I didn’t, and still don’t want or need to deal with the stress she brings.  Z woke up with a stomach bug that was trying to vacate from both ends, meanwhile our plumbing was backing up. 

Since MIL had surgery in late September, her immune system has been down. If she gets so much as the common cold, she could be hospitalized.

Well, a sick kid was my out. 

Finn didn’t want to leave us home alone, with Z being sick on top of the plumbing problems, so that was his out. He spent the day under the trailer cutting roots (a root system in the line is what caused the backup) and repairing lines. 

It was not a pleasant day for any of us. 

In other news, my birthday is now nineteen days away, and I’m still taking bets on whether or not my family acknowledges it at all. 

Advertisements

Well, It Happened…

 Looks like we’re going to the in-law’s for Thanksgiving…

MIL called yesterday to ask about our Thanksgiving plans. Finn and I agreed that if they asked about it, we’d go. So long as it wasn’t the day of.  I really, really don’t want to, but we’re going. I guess we’ll see how it goes. 

Christmas still depends on how things go Thursday, and whether or not they even recognize my birthday. I will not remind any of them how close my birthday is to Thanksgiving  (20 days this year).

I’ve also been tasked to make sweet potatoes, something I’ve never made and, frankly, don’t like. 

Yay for me? I guess?

It’s Loud Inside My Head

The past few weeks, my mind’s been going non-stop. I rarely get a break from it all. Sleep is a blissful respite from it all. That is, when sleep finds me. 

Holidays are hard for me. Have been since my mom passed away. This year’s holiday season is already hard on me. My 35th birthday, the one I’ve been dreading for years, is about to hit me in the face. Advanced Maternal Age. Middle Age. I’m getting old. 

Then, there’s TTC. I know, I know. We haven’t been trying that long, but I’m already over it. After trying over two years with my XH and no success, the experience left me feeling defeated. And now, each month having The Bitch show up rather than a positive pregnancy test is harder than I thought it would be. 

Finn’s been amazing with it. He’s in the camp of “if it happens, it happens”, but it’s not a deal breaker if it doesn’t. I just hope he’ll back me if I want to pull the plug for a month or two. 

I went out and bought some ovulation tests today, and I’m regretting sending spending that money already. But I also know they’ll help me keep at least part of my sanity, since I’ve been half-assing my charting the past few cycles. 

Ugh. 

No more unnecessary purchases, Tamma. Get with the program. Phone, tobacco, that’s it. 

On another note, Finn’s mom has called/texted both of us, but has yet to mention anything about Thanksgiving. Finn and I have agreed to plan on having our own dinner here: chicken, mashed potatoes, stuffing, etc… We agreed that if they asked about it, we’d consider it. However, if they call day of, it’ll be “too little, too late.” Especially after we were told to call first the last time we’d popped in. 

Hypocrite, much?

Taking Bets…

My birthday is coming up soon (38 days), and I just know I’m going to be forgotten, again. 

SIL’s birthday was a few months ago, and MIL posted a gushy happy birthday post on her Facebook wall. Finn and I have been together almost three years, and this will be my third birthday we’ve been together. She’s never once posted anything for me on my birthday. The first birthday I celebrated with Finn, I got told off for not working. Guess what? Finn and I had already discussed it at length, and it made no sense for me to work outside the home. 

I know this makes me come off as jealous (maybe I am?), but the unequal treatment between SIL and me is blazingly obvious. And I can’t pretend that doesn’t hurt. Finn’s mom plays blatant favoritism. 

The holidays are coming up quick, and no one’s said a word to us. I’m sure if we do get an invitation, it’ll be last minute. I’ve resolved to attend Thanksgiving, if we receive an invitation. However, Christmas is up in the air. It all depends on if/how they react to my birthday, which falls 12 days before Christmas. 

If none of them acknowledge my birthday, I will view it as yet another act of blatant favoritism. They didn’t acknowledge Z’s birthday, and refused to come to his party. Yet, they tricked us into going to neice’s cake and ice cream party the following month. They pile on the love for SIL, while I’m kicked to the curb. 

I don’t want or expect gifts, I just want acknowledgment that I exist. Is that too much to ask for?

If none of them acknowledge my birthday, I’ll refuse to attend their Christmas celebration. I’ll happily send Finn, and spend my happy ass home alone. Z will be with his father. 

Yes, I’d rather spend the biggest holiday of the year (AND our first Christmas married) alone, rather than feeling unwelcomed with Finn’s family. 

I haven’t said a word yet to Finn. I’m waiting to see how they handle my birthday, then going from there. 

I dread the day I give (hypothetical) birth. Any baby Finn and I have together will be treated completely different than Z. I swear I will go scorched earth.