Category Archives: Monday Bitchfest
What a fucking weekend…
Plans canceled last minute, a surprise visit from my uncle, a random friend request from my XH…
I’d had plans with my father to take Z top an annual event I hadn’t been too since 2001. We’ve had these plans since March. To the point of rearranging Z’s visitation with his father so we could make it to said event…
He canceled last minute. And since Finn had to work, Z and I had no other way to make it there. Only to find out when I called my dad to let him know my uncle was pulling into my neighborhood he went to said event without me or Z. I was heartbroken. I haven’t let Z know.
The reason for my uncle’s visit? He left his wife. Some shit has been going on behind the scenes. The biggest one is that a paternity test proved that his 13 year old daughter isn’t his. On top of that, his wife of 20 years caused him too lose his SSI, takes their car to haul their neighbours to and from the store and appointments, causing him to miss his own appointments. Doctors, therapists, psychologists. We have a trifecta of abuse: medical neglect, emotional abuse, AND psychological abuse. My uncle is diagnosed bipolar, and she’s preventing him from getting his necessary medications for it.
While my uncle was here, I get a phone call from FMIL (future mother-in-law, Finn’s mom) to cancel the cookout we’d been invited to yesterday.
Why? Because they suddenly had to tear up their carpet to install hardwood floors. There wouldn’t be enough room for everyone. Oh, but of course, they wanted Finn there to help.
I. Lost. It. It felt as though Z and I were unwanted and unwelcome. As I’ve told Finn, little things add up. They constantly cancel last minute, or refuse to come to any event we have at our place.
Finn didn’t go yesterday. He tried calling both his mom & dad, but neither answered. He didn’t leave a message for either.
I had an emotional breakdown yesterday. After Saturday’s events, I told Finn I was feeling unwanted and rejected by both sets of parents. I was already emotionally on edge, so it caused an argument. He said I was making a mountain out of a mole hill. I told him little things add up.
I was trying to calm myself, so I started playing with my hair. When I looked in the mirror, I saw my mom’s face. I look just like my mom. I’ve already been missing her and thinking of her daily, so add in the extra emotional stuff from Saturday, plus the anniversary of her passing coming up quick, and it was just a disaster waiting to happen.
Well… I woke up in a good mood this morning, but that quickly went to absolute shit.
First, I get guilt trips for visiting my aunt that I haven’t seen in three years, because I didn’t let anyone know I would be there. I didn’t even know I was going to be there until five minutes before my dad pulled into her driveway.
Second, I started a private group on Facebook so MOH and I could organise my bachelorette spa day. I posted yesterday asking when would be a good day for everyone. Not one single person had replied. It had been seen by both Finn’s mom and SIL, but neither replied.
I thought they wanted to be involved?
Oh wait, that’s right, they only want to be involved when my family isn’t.
I’m done. So. Fucking. Done.
The only thing I can remotely come up with is that it’s a jealousy thing.I told her when we first got engaged that I wanted a girl’s day with her and Finn’s sister. I guess she’s upset I’m trying to include both sides. It’s all well and good when it’s just her family, but she doesn’t want to be involved when my family is included.
I’ll give it a couple weeks, and if no one responds, cancel it due to “lack of interest”
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go find a rock to curl up under so I can cry my eyes out in peace.
Finn and I deposited the check STBXH sent me Saturday. We were advised to wait until Friday to make sure it cleared, because despite STBXH’s assurance that it will, I’m still skeptical. I know he has a bad history with money. It’s annoying as fuck that he expects me to just take him on his word, when I’ve caught him in so many lies.
At this point, I’m over it. I told Finn the other day that I’ve reached the point of IDGAF.
Since my last post, STBXH decided to send me a check for $100 to go towards the divorce. Because of time restraints, I haven’t been able to try to cash it just yet.
I’m really hoping it’s a legit check, and that this truly is the beginning of the end of the divorce so Finn and I can continue with our plans.
I’m beyond pissed at STBXH right now. I called the courthouse to find out why I haven’t been served yet (and to see if I could just pick it up myself), but they have NOTHING on file. Nothing! The only thing they have on file with my name as the respondent us from 2005.
STBXH fucking lied! He’s claimed to have filed not once, but twice! Why in the everloving fuck would he do that?!?!
He’s put my life on hold, Finn’s life on hold, and his own life on hold for some weird legal version of “if I can’t have you, no one else can.”
I’ve confided in a few friends, and they all find it beyond weird. We’ve been separated for over two years, he moved out of fucking state over two years ago. Why the fuck is he still holding on?
I want my life back.
OMFG… I’m pissed.
Finn and I rent his grandmother’s house, while she lives out of state to babysit Finn’s two young cousins. All of the utilities (electric, satellite, trash pickup, and internet services) are in our name. Basically, while we rent from his grandmother, it’s no different than renting from a non-related landlord.
If it were any other landlord-tenant situation, the shit she does would be hugely illegal…
She’ll randomly show up on weekends (five in a row, now. And planning on coming up next weekend. **internally screaming**). She’ll bring Finn’s cousins (9 & 11 year old girls… guess who becomes their entertainment) up. She digs through our refrigerator and freezer and use whatever she wants, without asking if I was planning on using it for something else (I have a severely limited diet, due to food sensitivities, and she’ll use our foods to make stuff I can’t eat). Sometimes, it’s the whole weekend, while others are only a few hours on Saturday, with her son (who I cannot stand, for many, many reasons).
He’s a classic misogynistic asshole. Only, he doesn’t out & out say it. No, he only talks down to me. Claiming “all women are the same.” That I had no right to ask for child support when I divorced my son’s father (ummm, what?). He tries to order me around when they’re here. And when I refuse, Grandma shoots me nasty looks.
All that being said… there are rumors going around the family that she’s planning on allowing him to move back in.
Ohhhh, hell to the no. I absolutely loathe that man. I’d rather live in a tent than in the same house as that man and his brat son.
And then yesterday, more of the rumor was revealed to us… That she plans on kicking us out, to allow for him to move in. All of this being said, without her saying one word to us. I feel like we’re living in the dark, and I HATE it.
It’s such a fucked up situation, and everyone sees it, except for her and her misogynistic son.
I’ve told Finn I’m shocked she allows him to talk to any female the way he talks to me. Maybe I’m more sensitive than most, because of what I’ve lived through. When I was clearly upset by things he’s said to Finn about me, she says “he’s just trying to tell Finn how it is.”
FUCKING BULLSHIT! You can’t blame every woman (or man), for something someone in your past did.
I’m fucking sick & tired of dealing with their attitude and demands. She knows our routine, and still chooses to show up, expecting us to be there for her beck and call. Nope. Sorry. Neither me nor Finn (or the rest of his family) can stand the asshole you raised.
I’m really, really hoping for some sort of torrential downpour this weekend, so she won’t show up. Z’s birthday is on the first, but since he’ll still be with his father we’re planning to surprise him when he gets home. And I’m going to be hugely FUCKING pissed if they show up and ruin his birthday.
So, yeah. Pissed is an understatement.
We’re actively looking for a new place. And I hope like hell she’ll never randomly show up with Finn’s uncle, cause trust me, I WILL have something to say about that.
Warning: This post WILL become TMI.
Today has started out pretty damn rough. Z wakes us up a few minutes after 8am to tell us he missed the bus. Whoops.
TMI zone after the break…
J and I went hiking today. Good news is that NONE of my trails were effected by the fire last week. Bad news is that we still didn’t make it to The Heights. The worst news (and what makes me wanna cry) is that I may have to stop my hiking. I’m tearing up as I’m typing this. We didn’t even make it to the overlook before my right knee started hurting. By the time we’d circled around past the overtook, my knee was burning. Like, serious tears of pain burning.
I got home almost seven hours ago, and the pain hasn’t let up at all. If anything, it’s gotten worse. I can’t put any pressure on it at all without wincing in pain. And if I forget for a split second and bare weight on it, you may as well forget it. It feels like my knee is bending backwards.
This really freaking sucks. I love hiking. I love being outside. Even flat trails hurt. Hell, even walking to the store on asphalt hurts. Something’s gotta give. I can’t not hike. I just can’t.
My right shoulder is throbbing. Has been for almost a week. Been doing this off and on for over a year. It keeps me from being able to crochet as much as I’d like.
My friend J and I took a 7 mile hike along the C&O canal today. OMG, my back and legs are so sore. I can’t even walk without wincing in pain. This shit sucks! And, to make it even more fun, I bruised my hip on the foot board of our bed this morning. I underestimated my hips(again). You’d think I’d realize by now that despite my small frame, I’ve got hips.