Category Archives: moving

First Week…

Things have been amazing in the new place thus far.

Z came back from his dad’s on Sunday, and he likes the house, but loves the neighborhood. He says it’s the perfect middle ground between where we used to live and his father’s neighborhood.

Our old neighborhood had no kids around,  and his father’s neighborhood is too loud (apparently, I’ve never been there). He also discovered while walking around with neighborhood kids that a girl that went to his old school also moved into this neighborhood this summer. (Random as hell, but awesome nonetheless.)


We Got It!!!

We sign the papers and move in Saturday! 

I’m freaking ecstatic right now. OMG, I can’t believe how fast this all moved.  I never would have expected it to be this fast.

OMG,  Finn and I have a place of our own.  I’m too excited to think of anything else.

But…  Now I have to go pack. 😄

Wait… What?

Sooo,  I called my dad to tell him the news. He was,  of course,  happy for us. But, there’s more.  My father said words he’s NEVER said about any man I’ve ever dated…

He seems like a good guy.


He usually either stays silent or has an obvious dislike. He was spot on when he said STBXH was using me,  even though at the time I had no possible clue as to how he could have been using me.

But… Wow. Just… Wow.  My dad actually likes Finn.

This day just keeps getting better and better.

Post and Run

Just got word that we were approved by the park.  Now we’re waiting for Finn’s employment verification.

**happy dance**


Whether we get this place or not,  I’m still going through this house like a tornado,  packing ALL of our stuff. Petty or not,  I’m packing EVERYTHING, right down to the toilet paper,  paper towels,  and any and all food we’ve purchased. It’s not our job to provide anything for them. As it is,  I’m noticing that he’s getting into our canned goods, and my coffee (which I haven’t been drinking what he’s made). With a limited diet because of food sensitivities,  it’s frustrating when people finish off the foods I can actually eat. We have a limited food budget on top of that,  so it’s even more frustrating.

The more I look at the pictures from yesterday, the more I want it. Sure, it’s a trailer.  Sure,  it needs some work (mostly paint, from what I can tell), but it will be ours.


Standing in the living room, facing the kitchen

I’m excited and nervous.  I’ve never had a place that was mine.  Always living under someone else’s rules.  I mean,  yeah,  we’ll have to follow the rules of the park,  but the interior is ours.  We can decorate however we want. We can paint, and hang pictures, and change anything we want.

We fell in love with this trailer yesterday,  and we’re hoping and praying that we get it.

This waiting game is making me anxious.

I keep checking Pinterest for decoration ideas on a budget.  I know I can do a lot of the crafty stuff myself,  and I probably already have most,  if not all, supplies needed. Thank goodness, I’m a craft hoarder. LMAO.

Things are looking up

Finn and I have been running nonstop since Saturday to find a place…

We found one we fell in love with. We toured it this morning, and put an application in. It’s rent to own, and the current owner wants us in there now. Basically, we’re waiting for our background checks to come in. We both know we’ll pass with zero issues. The worst he has on his history is speeding tickets (and they’re off his driving record), and the worst I have is fishing without a license almost 12 years ago.

So, it’s now a waiting game. I’m trying not to get my hopes up, but this is just too promising.

Productive Day

Phone calls, text messages, and even running down the street (yes, I literally ran) to catch any lead I can on a place to rent ASAP.

We have four days until Finn’s uncle will be here. There’s no way in hell we’ll have a place by then, and be moved in. But I’m hoping we have a place before Z gets back from his father’s on August 7th. Two and a half weeks from now. I don’t want to have to subject my son to that man.

The man I spoke with today told me to let him know if we don’t find anything in a week or two. He said he’s got one place empty that needs work, and that there’s a woman that’s been hounding him about it. I hope he helps us. He’s known Finn’s family for years, and Finn’s younger brother thinks of him as a grandfather.

I texted my aunt to see if her landlord had anything available. I even messaged Scott for information. But I still feel like I didn’t do enough.

I feel like I accomplished a lot today, but still nothing at all. I guess the only thing I actually did accomplish is calling in to get my birth control refilled. Cause we don’t need a surprise popping up on us in the middle of all this.

Ugh…  is it 0200 yet, I need me some Finn cuddles.

I Wanna Cry. Can I Cry?

Yup. Finn’s grandmother FINALLY told us that his uncle is moving in next weekend. Yup, we only got one week’s notice. One motherfucking week.

She’s known about this for months, but just now told us.

Things are fucking tense as hell. I keep finding myself on the verge of tears. I feel powerless. Unless something drastic happens between now and Saturday, we’re essentially screwed…

Five people, two bedroom house. Two kids, three adults.

I just realized last night that Z will be with his father for two weeks, starting Saturday.

Fuuuck me.

Not only do I have to deal with the asshole, I have to deal with him alone. Depending on the day, Finn typically leaves for work between 1:45pm and 2:45pm, and doesn’t get home until between 1&3 am. Alone. At night. With a man that I don’t like, barely know, and don’t trust. And, honestly, I’m fucking terrified of that man.

He’s all three of my abusive exes rolled into one misogynistic asshole. He touches me or threatens me, I swear to fucking god, I’ll be tazing him while I’m calling 911.

Oh, just fucking kill me now.

Here’s the kicker – if Z’s father finds all this out, he’ll try to take him from me. And if the judge finds Uncle’s charges, there’s a good chance I’ll lose Z. I lose my kid, and there will be hell to pay.

Does anyone think about that? No.
Does anyone but me and Finn care? Fuck no.

I am strong, because weakness is NOT A an option. But my strength is diminishing.

But I’m tired. So tired of struggling to make it through the day. So tired of being told I’m not allowed to complain. So tired of being told not to worry. So tired of not being allowed to have my own opinion.

I’m so ready to just give up. No one cares. Why should I???

Eight Weekends in a Row…

Yup. You guessed it. Finn’s grandmother showed up again today. And brought Finn’s 9year old cousin.


Kid free weekend. Ruined.

We’ve had ZERO time for ourselves in two months. Two fucking months.

We’re told she showed up to tell us that Finn’s uncle and his son are moving in with us. Things are fucking tense as hell in this house right now. Finn’s at work, and she doesn’t know we know what’s going on. (Finn’s mom told us what’s up, and she wasn’t supposed to).

If it weren’t for Z, I’d just say “Fuck it, let’s just go live in the truck until we find a place.”

Yes, I HATE Finn’s uncle that much. I hate the way he talks to me. I hate the way he talks in front of me. I hate knowing what he’s done, but not being able to say anything about it.

He was arrested for felony child abuse in August, 2014. But we’re supposed to ignore that, because it was a “false report”. Fuck.

There are other (even worse) accusations, that I’m not supposed to know about, so I can’t even post about it. Let’s just say it’s one word, starts with “R” and ends in “ape”.

Yeah… I’m’a be sleeping with a tazer under my pillow.

Ohhhh… even fucking better…

What I know of the plan is that they will be taking Z’s room, Z will be taking our room, and we get the living room. Seriously. The fucking living room. Zero privacy. Zero personal space. Zero downtime. We get the “common area” of the house. So our “bedroom” will constantly be invaded and taken over.

The ONLY bit of good news in this disaster is that Finn got a raise. And is working crazy overtime this week and next. We also got a lead on a possible place. Rent is only $100 more a month than we pay now, and the security deposit is only $200. Pretty sure we can swing that.

Ugh. I just want Finn home.

What the fuuuck am I supposed to do?!?

Seriously, I’m looking for suggestions.

Freaking Seriously?

So… Finn’s mom just called, and apparently his uncle’s house is being foreclosed on. He has until the 25th to find another place to go. So far, he hasn’t. And Finn’s mom thinks that his grandmother is going to let him and his son move in here. Without any warning to us.

Have I mentioned I can’t stand Finn’s uncle? Or his son, who has ZERO discipline, and beyond destroying every blind in the house, writing on walls, fucking peed on both the couch and love seat (which we just replaced last weekend) while they lived here before.

On top of all that, there’s NO room to add two more people. This house is two bedroom. One for Finn and I, and one for Z. Where exactly are we going to put two more people?

I can only imagine what’s going through Finn’s grandmother’s mind. Z and Finn’s cousin sharing a room?  Definitely not fair to Z. And where would that put his uncle?  Putting Finn’s uncle and cousin in our (already stuffed) room, and put us in the living room? What about our clothes and stuff that we (obviously) store in the bedroom? Zero privacy. No doors lock. NONE. Not even the bathroom door.

Even better? Finn’s uncle has a bad history. He did some fucked up shit to a (female) member of the family. He was never charged (she came forward too late), so instead of being locked up for 15-20 years, I have to deal with the possibility of living in the same house with him. Guess I’ll be sleeping with my tazer under my pillow, and a can of pepper spray.

Finn’s mom said we should ask the owner of the store down the street if she has anything available to rent. Even if she does, it doesn’t exactly help us, as we have zero money for a deposit. And we only have 12 days.

No fucking wonder I’m stressed the fuuuck out, and spiraling into depression.