Category Archives: narcissist

Family Dysfuntion

Necessary Background:

 

I’m the youngest  of six kids. I’m the product of my mom’s thirdn marriage, my father’s second. I’m the only child they had together. My mom had two sons by her first husband, and two daughters by her second. My father had a son by his first wife. My mom passed away several years ago. My father has since remarried.

 

Got that? Good. Cause it’s about to get even more complicated.

 

My youngest sister (YS) has a few undiagnosed mental issues (Definitely a Cluster B disorder). For as long as I can remember, she has to make everything about herself. She has a victim complex. If she feels like someone else is getting attention she believes she deserves, she’ll pick a fight with her chosen victim (usually me or my dad, her step-father). Due to this, she started a fight with my step-mother, causing my whole family to stop talking  to each other for YEARS. My father didn’t speak to me for almost three years, because he believed YS’s lies. We’ve since repaired the relationship. I’m now back in contact with everyone. Except her.

 

A few years back, my father brought me two boxes of family photos, along with my mother’s urn. The only things she didn’t steal when someone let her in my dad’s house. I didn’t ask for any of it. But when my sister found out, she blew a gasket.

 

Keep in mind, we hadn’t spoken in at least 4 years at that point. I was working on my spine. About two years ago, she re-added me on Facebook, I approved because I’m an idiot, thinking maybe she’d changed. Nope. Within a week, she was harassing me about “when we could go through the pictures,” I gave her times and dates of when I’d be available, but none of them were ever good enough. I eventually just went through the pictures and dropped the ones she specifically mentioned to her husband.

 

Ohhhh, no. That still wasn’t good enough. She wanted me to drop what I was doing and go to her house to show them to her. (Side step for a minute: My sister is the very embodiment of the ‘Crazy Cat Lady’. She has several cats that refuse to use the litter box, so her whole house has essentially become a litter box. On top of that, she’s also a boarder-line hoarder. It was God-awful the last time I was there in 2009, and I’m told it’s only gotten worse in the past almost eight years. So, how about no? I have zero desire to step foot into that bio-hazard.) After a day or two, she went quite on the subject. So I had assumed it was over.

 

I did mention I’m an idiot, didn’t I?

 

Things were quiet, for almost a year and a half (I’ll tell the Thanksgiving story in another post. Maybe), until I announced my engagement to my fiance last week.

 

I really, really should have seen it coming. (Told you, I’m an idiot.)

 

She started in on it within hours of finding out. Texting Older Sister (OS). Trying to find information on my dad. OS swears she gray-rocked her. But someone gave YS my dad’s phone number. And she harassed him while he was at work. I was shown the texts, and while they look innocent enough to an outsider, they were full of a Narc’s attempt at hoovering. My dad didn’t fall for it (Smart man.), and when that didn’t work, she took it to Facebook. Where I ignored it. Even when she commented directly on my posts.

 

I FINALLY grey-rocked the hell outta her. Even when she commented on a post someone else posted on my page. The only reaction that got out of me was to delete it, because it brought my son into it (that’s another issue entirely. His father is alienating me. Changes his number at least every other month, and doesn’t tell my son, so it looks like I’m not trying to contact him. It’s heartbreaking. And her comment pretty much ruined my mother’s day.) Immediately after she posted it, she blocked me. I guess she thought I wouldn’t be able to see it? Or wouldn’t be able to delete the comment, since it wasn’t on my original post? Either way, I was able to do both.

 

I have also blocked all of her known accounts (Up to 5 now. WTF??), just in case she decides to unblock me to start more shit.

 

 

 

Hindsight

Holy shit, two posts in one day… 

The past few weeks, I’ve gone back through and read messages between STBXH and myself since the day I told him I was done. That’s almost two and a half years worth of messages to go through. 
Fortunately, I’ve never deleted a single one, so I have them all in my possession no matter what phone or phone number he was using. 



I spent the first few months after I left wondering if I was the problem. I caught hell from his friends, received nasty, vile text messages from his friends. He claimed to have been a victim of me.  Now, after rereading his texts, and speaking with friends that knew him, I’m most definitely assured that, no, I was his victim. 



Lies, deflection, gaslighting, deversion. His texts read like a fucking psychology book on narcissism. 


I have almost two and a half year’s worth of proof of narcissistic abuse piled up. And that’s only after I left. 


Of course before I left, it was the same shit. 


Find messages to other women? My fault, because “if I wasn’t looking, I wouldn’t have found it”. Someone sends me links to his dating site profiles?  Somehow my fault. 


My eyes are open now. He’s a liar, a cheater, and a narcissist. And I was his victim. 


Hindsight.