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Why? Just… Why??? 

Last year, I got a friend request from a guy I went to school with. Even though he gave me creepy vibes back then, I accepted because, hey, people can change, right? 

Nope. Nope. Nope. 

For the past several months, he’s been messaging me biweekly. I only responded one night, to tell him I was busy hanging out with my boyfriend. That was in November. 

Since, he’s continued on his biweekly attempts to engage in conversation. I told Finn about it, and he figured dude was just trying to make conversation. 

Nope. Nope. Nope. 

He sent seven messages within ten minutes yesterday. All of which were begging me to answer (I did not). He went from asking what I was doing, to if I was there, to whether I was still married, and finally, if I was single. My profile very, very clearly says that I’m in a relationship with Finn. 

I’m going to have to shoot him down, and I’m dreading it. He’s mentally handicapped, and I’m going to come off as a bitch, but I can’t deal with this anymore. It’s gotten to the point that it feels like harassment. 




Finn, Z, and I had to do a Lowes run the other night, and ran into one of his coworkers… 

“This is Tamma, my fiancé, girlfriend, something like that”

Well, OK then. 

When I brought it up to him later, he pretty much said that’s the way he feels, even without a proposal. 

So, yeah… As far as most anyone is concerned, we’re engaged, just waiting on my pesky divorce to be finalized. 


My anxiety has been going crazy lately, and I can feel it so do spiraling into depression.

I need a break from all the stress and drama. Just a non sick day at home with just me, Z, and Finn. No phone calls, no guilt trips, just us.

Thankfully, Finn is amazing and understanding about everything. I love having a such a transparent relationship. He’s so easy to talk to. Instead of telling me to “get over it,” he’s asking what he can do to help. Actually, he’s never told me to “get over it.” His standard answer has always been “well work on it.” A LOT more comforting.

It’s Raining, It’s Pouring

We’re on day #3 of rainy, yucky weather and it’s killing my lungs and sinuses. I *think* tomorrow is the last of this storm system, but after that we have to worry about Hurricane Matthew. Last protected storm track I saw had us on the outer perimeter. Fun!

Busy, busy, busy…

Finn and I have been running around like chickens with our heads cut off every weekend since we’ve moved into the new place. We’ve had company every weekend. I’m ready for some down time.

… But, this past weekend was more than I could have ever expected. My dad had both boys, and when he came to drop Z off, we got to talking about drinking and getting drunk (sooo weird for me).

Anyway, he asks me to call my aunt. I do, and hand the phone to him. Next thing u know, he invites her over. No big deal. She gets here, and calls my other aunt to invite her over. Again, no big deal. Next thing I know, we’re having an unplanned cookout. Half of my mom’s side of the family is here.

I don’t have words to describe how much it meant to me. I’ve hung around with my aunts, and I’ve hung around with my dad,  but I haven’t been able to spend time with all of them since the day u married my ex back in 2011.

Can’t Keep Up…

Facebook is a disturbing place these days. To the point of me almost deleting my account. I’ve gotten into countless arguments, been called “libtard” and “perverted” because of my views on transgenders in the restroom they identify with.

Guess what? I.don’ if a transwoman were to use the stall next to me in a public restroom. I care about her safety. She is at risk of assault if she’s forced to use the restroom based on her genitals. I don’t think anyone should have to choose between the risk of arrest versus the risk of assault.

I gave up commenting. It pisses me off hearing the nasty things people spew about the LGBTQ community. A person is a person, is a person, is a person. We ALL deserve equal rights, not just the majority.

Just let them pee in peace. Why is that such a hard concept?

I am an ally.
I’ll pee with you

2015 in review

The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 790 times in 2015. If it were a cable car, it would take about 13 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.


Tonight will be my last night in this house. Tomorrow, we’re moving my stuff into storage, Z’s father is picking him up (and is keeping him until I can get back up on my feet), and Finn and I will be staying at a friend’s house, at least until Tuesday.


I love this…

Sometimes, it’s an emergency that makes us emerge and see.

2014 in review

The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 710 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 12 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.