Looks like we’re going to the in-law’s for Thanksgiving…
MIL called yesterday to ask about our Thanksgiving plans. Finn and I agreed that if they asked about it, we’d go. So long as it wasn’t the day of. I really, really don’t want to, but we’re going. I guess we’ll see how it goes.
Christmas still depends on how things go Thursday, and whether or not they even recognize my birthday. I will not remind any of them how close my birthday is to Thanksgiving (20 days this year).
I’ve also been tasked to make sweet potatoes, something I’ve never made and, frankly, don’t like.
Yay for me? I guess?
Eleven days til Thanksgiving, 31 days til my birthday, and 43 days til Christmas, and we still haven’t heard a single peep about any plans. My dad mentioned going out of state for Christmas, but that’s it.
I have the feeling Finn’s parents will call either Thanksgiving Day or the day before to invite us over. And, to be honest, I’m still up in the air about it. Do I really want to feel like an outcast on Thanksgiving? I’ll at least have Finn and Z there with me.
Christmas is another matter altogether. Z will be with his dad, and I really, really don’t want to feel like an outcast on Christmas. I’d rather spend the day at home. It seriously all depends on their response to my birthday. I don’t expect gifts (I don’t celebrate my birthday, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, or any other gift giving holiday to that effect), but acknowledgment is nice. I’ll give gifts all day long, but expect nothing in return. That’s just not me.
Daylight Savings Time has ended, which has my seasonal depression going in full force. The past few days have been especially fierce, since it’s been incredibly cloudy and dreary, add to that that The Bitch is due to show anytime now, and it’s been a triple threat.
I’m struggling, but working on it.
My birthday is coming up soon (38 days), and I just know I’m going to be forgotten, again.
SIL’s birthday was a few months ago, and MIL posted a gushy happy birthday post on her Facebook wall. Finn and I have been together almost three years, and this will be my third birthday we’ve been together. She’s never once posted anything for me on my birthday. The first birthday I celebrated with Finn, I got told off for not working. Guess what? Finn and I had already discussed it at length, and it made no sense for me to work outside the home.
I know this makes me come off as jealous (maybe I am?), but the unequal treatment between SIL and me is blazingly obvious. And I can’t pretend that doesn’t hurt. Finn’s mom plays blatant favoritism.
The holidays are coming up quick, and no one’s said a word to us. I’m sure if we do get an invitation, it’ll be last minute. I’ve resolved to attend Thanksgiving, if we receive an invitation. However, Christmas is up in the air. It all depends on if/how they react to my birthday, which falls 12 days before Christmas.
If none of them acknowledge my birthday, I will view it as yet another act of blatant favoritism. They didn’t acknowledge Z’s birthday, and refused to come to his party. Yet, they tricked us into going to neice’s cake and ice cream party the following month. They pile on the love for SIL, while I’m kicked to the curb.
I don’t want or expect gifts, I just want acknowledgment that I exist. Is that too much to ask for?
If none of them acknowledge my birthday, I’ll refuse to attend their Christmas celebration. I’ll happily send Finn, and spend my happy ass home alone. Z will be with his father.
Yes, I’d rather spend the biggest holiday of the year (AND our first Christmas married) alone, rather than feeling unwelcomed with Finn’s family.
I haven’t said a word yet to Finn. I’m waiting to see how they handle my birthday, then going from there.
I dread the day I give (hypothetical) birth. Any baby Finn and I have together will be treated completely different than Z. I swear I will go scorched earth.
((Shower thoughts ahead))
Once again, I’m awake much earlier than I have to be.
RBF (Resting Bitch Face) was supposed to be a defense mechanism to make men leave women the fuck alone, but has since become an excuse to allow them to utter the most dreaded phrase imaginable:
You need to/should smile more.
Fuck. That. Noise.
Saturday, I posted a selfie on Facebook. I was feeling really good about myself. Had my contacts in, wearing makeup, I’d even put my hair up in a ballerina bun. That was, until the first comment…
It was, of course, someone telling me to smile. Deflated, and confidence gone in an instant. If we weren’t already out of the house, I would have changed out of the dress I was wearing.
For reference, here’s the picture:
I don’t think I looked too bad. I usually try to make my eyes the focus of pictures of myself. To me, they’re my best feature.
Have you ever had people you have nothing in common with show up on your “People You May Know” list on Facebook? No mutual friends, not in any of the same groups.
There have been two people showing up on this list for me repetitively for the past year or so. My ex husband’s mother and brother. I’ve never been friends with either profile. They’re both new. Created AFTER I left XH. Until they showed up under “People You May Know,” I had ZERO idea that either one of these profiles existed. The one from ExMIL was her fourth, that I’m aware of. She blocked me on her other three when I left XH.
The first time it happened, I didn’t think anything of it. Facebook’s funny sometimes.
But, then… they’d disappear for a few weeks, then randomly show up again. This has been ongoing for MONTHS.
It got my attention, and had me curious as to why Facebook thought I may know these two people. I’d long since unfriended XH, and neither profile was connected to his in anyway before I unfriended him.
Sooo… I posed the question to Google. Facebook won’t reveal their algorithms for this particular feature, but there were a LOT of posts on message boards on the topic.
People who show up on your list of “People You May Know” are profiles that visit your page.
Excuse me? What?
If this is true, my ex-husband’s mother and brother visit my profile on a regular basis. Enough that Facebook picks up on it.
That is disturbing.
What are they looking for? My privacy settings are as strict as Facebook will allow.
I have three things visible to the public:
- My profile picture (Finn’s and my kiss during our wedding ceremony)
- My cover photo (our wedding party during the ceremony)
- And my relationship status (married to Finn
There’s nothing they can learn from my public profile.
I’ve began to take screenshots every time they show up, so to have proof of this.
But, for now, I’m keeping a watch out.
But, seriously? Should I give them a show? The petty part of me really wants to.
Thanksgiving is coming up in a few weeks (25 days), and thus far we haven’t heard a peep from either side about dinner plans. I mentioned it to Finn the other day, and he brought up a good point: both of our families plan things last minute.
This pushes my anxiety into hyper-drive, because I am a planner. Hell, I already have my clothing choices picked out for both Thanksgiving AND Christmas, just in case.
As of now, I’m going with the assumption that we’ll just be staying home for Thanksgiving, since we haven’t heard a peep. BIL2 and MIL have both had gastric bypass surgeries this year, and are unable to eat too much at a time right now. And my father informed me last month that his wife (my Evil Step-Mother, or ESM for short) will not be renewing her contract with the company she works for. Which effectively pushes my siblings and myself out of his life, once again.
I’ll blissfully take sitting at home, rather than feeling unwanted at either my dad’s or my in-laws’ homes.
Last week, this blog hit it’s third birthday. It’s been my outlet through the separation and divorce from XH, the relationship with Scott, his cancer diagnosis, the subsequent breakup, meeting Finn, and has chronicled our entire relationship, from the first meeting, to the engagement and wedding planning, and now our marriage.
A lot can change in three years.
When I first started this blog, it was meant to be an outlet for my thoughts throughout everything I was dealing with. Even if it was never publicly posted, it was still chronicled in private posts that were never meant to be seen by the public eye. I never expected to have one follower, let alone the 180+ I have. Small number, yes, however, none of my followers know me personally.
While friends and family are aware of this blog’s existence, I’ve never given them the web address. No one’s asked for it, as they know it’s my outlet, and respect my right for anonymity online.
I will forever be grateful that this blog helped me rise from the ashes of my last marriage.