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My Give-A-Damn Snapped…

 Welp, I do believe I’ve hit my limit. No, nothing new has happened. I’m just over it all. 

I’m tired of worrying about what other people say or think. 

They can wear whatever the fuck they want, just don’t come crying to me when someone tells you how inappropriate it is. And trust me, at least one guest will say something to someone. 

Wedding etiquette isn’t that hard to figure out:

  1. Don’t wear white. Or anything that can be mistaken for white in pictures. 
  2. Don’t upstage the couple. 

Number 2 can be broken down into thousands of facets. 

  1. Don’t propose 
  2. Don’t announce a pregnancy 
  3. DON’T WEAR WHITE (or the color the bride is wearing, if you know)
  4. Don’t pretend it’s your wedding&reception that you never got to have 
  5. Don’t try to match the bridal party
  6. Don’t monopolize the couple 

Yeah, it’s not hard to figure out, and I’m done trying to hold anyone’s hand to prevent them from making a fool out of themselves. 

I’m done caring. It doesn’t reflect poorly on Finn or I. It reflects poorly on the guest. None of that little stuff matters. 

What matters is that I’ll be going to bed on our wedding night as Finn’s wife. 

Bridezilla in 3. 2. 1…

I’ll be so fucking happy once this wedding is done. 

Finn’s family is driving me bat shit crazy. If it’s not FSIL trying to get too involved, it’s FMIL complaining about one thing or another. If it’s not FMIL shitting on all of our ideas, it’s Finn’s brother complaining about having to wear a boutoneer. 

After him and his mom guilted Finn into naming him as best man. Seriously? He’s complaining about the requested attire for a role he guilted Finn into giving him. That’s LITERALLY the number one job of everyone in the bridal party. SHOW UP WEARING THE REQUESTED ATTIRE. Don’t fucking complain about it. Damn. 

FSIL has gone radio silent after our conversation about what she wants to wear. It’s beyond hope. No one’s going to talk to her about how inappropriate it is to intentionally match the bridal party. Either no one understands, or they don’t care. 

My vote goes for the latter. 

I posted a simple question on Facebook to see if anyone else was of my sister’s opinion, that it’s inappropriate to ask ceremony guests not to post pictures until after our arrival at the reception. 

Most agreed with me, that it’s not too much to ask. 

FMIL’s opinion however…

 Wow this is becoming too much

Followed by…

Look I am going to take pictures I don’t care what Finn says and if u guys have a problem with that I just won’t come

That was followed up by a phone call from her asking why not everyone will be invited to the ceremony. I tried to explain that both Finn and I suffer from social anxiety, and wanted to keep the ceremony private and intimate, but still wanted to share at least part of the day with our friends. 

Ugh… NOW she’s complaining that the reception will be too big, and we won’t have enough food for everyone. 

There’s no winning with this family. 

I did the math after the phone call. Not including children, the ceremony will have 24 guests (including wedding party), and the reception will have 36 guests. Including all children, our guest list count jumps to 53 people. And that’s IF (huge, major, IF) everyone invited shows up. Which I highly doubt they will. 

Still, not a big wedding, despite what she says. That’s smaller than most of the family get togethers my parents hosted when I was growing up. 

Next up: FMIL wants granddaughters soon.  Granddaughters, not grandsons. She wants me to have twin girls. Oh, but wait six months after going off birth control, because that’s how long it takes to get out of your system. 

Ummm. No. It takes 2-3 days. That’s what your period is when you’re on birth control. Withdrawal bleed. It may take awhile for your body to figure out WTF it’s doing, but the hormones are out of your system within days. 

I’ve been off my BCPs since May, and have had two normal cycles since (I chart). My last period even indicated that my body has figured out what it’s supposed to be doing. 

More FSIL Drama…

For some backstory,  I’ve written about her herehere, and here

She wants to match the bridal party. 

She. Wants. To. Match. The. Bridal. Party. 

She asked me the other day if I had a preference  as to what colors I want the guests to wear. I told her anything but the wedding colors. Even sent her a sample of the wedding colors. But she’s set on wearing pink. My Maid of Honor is wearing pink. 

She found out that Finn will be wearing boots, so she wants her husband to wear boots. Her exact words were “and boots too since Finn’s wearing boots.”

She even asked me what kind of shoes I’ll be wearing. I’m pissed off. I’m annoyed. This is not normal behavior. And it’s stressing me the fuck out. 

Someone needs to reign her the fuck in. This is OUR wedding, and I REFUSE to let someone take it over. 

Fuck. That. Noise. 

Here We Go Again…

I’ve written twice about Finn’s brother and SIL  (sister-in-law) already. Here and here

While we were out shopping for wedding supplies Saturday, Finn’s mom called to ask about our plans. He told her that we were waiting to finalize the venue before we dove too far into the decorations. Fair enough. 

She goes on to say that SIL wants to help with the decorations. 

FULL STOP. 

NO. 

This makes me feel even more suspicious. It feels like she wants to live vicariously through me, since she never had an actual wedding and reception. 

I rolled my eyes sooo hard when Finn told me. He gets it. Our tastes are vastly different. She wants a $26k ring vs my less-than-$100 moissanite bridal set. 

We’ve been told no less than four times that she wants to help, and I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. I don’t want her anywhere near the crafty end of the decorations. I’ve put a lot of thought into what I want, and being naturally crafty, I don’t trust anyone else to do it to my standards. 

Yes, I realize that makes me sound like a bitch and a bridezilla, but it’s the truth. I take a lot of pride in my craft work. It’s kind of my gig. I have been paid for my creations. Once upon a time, I had two active online shops. So yeah, it’s safe to say that I’m good at what I do. 

So, onto yesterday…

I fucked up. SIL caught me in a moment of weakness (dealing with some pain from a splinter IN MY ASS. Seriously, it hurts to sit on any surface that’s not heavily cushioned. You have my permission to laugh), and I gave her the link to my Pinterest wedding board.

She’s running with it. And for some weird ass reason I’ve yet to figure out, she’s pushing bamboo cutlery. Like, fuck, let me breathe. Finn and I are paying for this whole gig out of our own pockets. 

No Pay, No Say. 

Suggestions are all well and good, but in the end, Finn and I have final say. I don’t want this wedding to become a three ring circus. My last wedding, the in-laws took over, and it ended up being almost completely the opposite of what I wanted. 

Fuck, just let us have the wedding we want. Damn. 

Still looking for volunteers for ‘red wine duty.’ 

Any takers??

Eighty-Eight Days…

Things are starting to truly come together. 

  1. Invites ✔
  2. Bouquets ✔
  3. Boutoneers ✔
  4. My dress ✔
  5. Decorations ✔
  6. Pastor ✔
  7. Venue ✔
  8. Favors ✔

I still want to get some tulle, sooo we can “drape” it around the pavilion. Guess we’ll see…
Eighty eight days til I get to marry this guy…

Suspicion Confirmed…

Finn’s brother and sister-in-law just stopped by, thinking he was home  (nope, he’s a workaholic, works approximately 53 hours a week). They mentioned they were (finally) looking at wedding rings. They just had to mention that the rings they’re planning on getting are $16k a peice.

SIXTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS FOR A HUNK OF METAL AND ROCKS TO WEAR AROUND YOUR FINGER

I’m seriously dumbfounded hearing this. And then. AND THEN. She speaks up and says it’s too small.

TOO SMALL? A SIXTEEN THOUSAND DOLLAR RING IS TOO SMALL?!?! That’s, at the very least, a 3cttw diamond. Seriously. 

The ring she wants is twenty-six thousand dollars. Holy shit! That’s a house in this area. She’d rather have a ring than a house?!?

As I said in this post, she’s been acting weird whenever my ring, or Finn and I’s wedding is brought up. I thought it was jealousy, but now I’m about 99.999% sure that’s exactly what it is/was. 

They’re (or, at the very least, her) attempting to show us up. I’m hoping (PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD) that this shit is out of their system before Finn and I’s wedding. 

I’m definitely assigning someone to red wine (Gatorade?) duty. 

Random Thought Tuesday 6/27/17


Everything’s coming together now. We’ve secured our officiant, bouquets are done except for final touches. Finn’s wardrobe has been figured out, just not purchased. We’re getting there. 
Slowly, but surely. 

Z wants to be ring security (LMAO), because he’s too big to be the ring bearer. Fair enough. I’m sure we’ll sort all of that out soon enough. 

Z’s helping me out with some of the crafty stuff today. He wants to help so he can be involved, who am I to tell him he can’t?

2017 has proven to be a year of changes. It’s been one helluva wild ride.  Two name changes for me (from married name, to maiden name, to a new married name coming in October), Z starting middle school in all Honors classes, except math which he has an IEP for the gifted program. It’s been a lot to take in. His IQ scores from the school psychologist are all in the 120s. His test scores in math and English are all off the charts (he was two points away from being placed in gifted English as well as math). Kid’s a genius. Literally. He’s nervous, but excited to begin this new journey in his education. 

I’m just trying to take everything one day at a time. 

Wedding Worries

Just over three and a half months to go. We’ve already got the invitations, the flowers and greenery for the bouquets, food being planned, centerpieces planned out, my dress is hanging in the closet. All that in just over a month. It’s moving pretty damn fast. 

WooHoo

But I worry. I worry and stress, because Finn’s planned wardrobe isn’t up to his mom’s  (FMIL) standards. She wants him in a suit. I don’t. It’s not him. 

Another major worry for me is his sister-in-law. His brother and her got married last October, and we unintentionally set our date a week before their anniversary. 

Whoops. 



We chose our date for a multitude of reasons. Major one being 10/7/17 = 10+7=17. Then, there’s a chance my brother could have cancer (seriously, FUCK cancer!), and well, if it hadn’t been for the fact that I was still legally married to XH, we would have been married a year ago. 

Every time our engagement and wedding come up in front of her, she gets this weird facial expression. Like, a combination of sadness and jealousy. I don’t know what to think. They’ve been married nearly a year, and still don’t have rings. As far as I’m aware, she doesn’t even have an engagement ring. I’m sorry, but that’s not our fault. Finn’s brother (her husband) is a cheapskate. Again, not our fault. They got married in their pastor’s back yard, with only Finn’s parents and siblings (minus Finn and I) in attendance. Again, not our fault. If she wanted a real wedding, she should have held her ground. 

Part of me worries that they’ll figure out a way to take the attention off of us, and onto them. Like, they’ll try to turn it into the wedding they didn’t get to have, on our dime. I barely know her, but I wouldn’t put it past him, to be honest. Or, that he’ll encourage her to do it, knowing she’s from a different culture and might not know any better. 

Maybe it’s because I’ve been reading horror stories, maybe it’s because of my previous experience  (XH’s family ruined wedding planning for me), but I’m scared that his family will take over, and completely upstage us at our own wedding. 

So… Um… Time to plan a wedding… 

So… Yeah… Finn and I are officially engaged, and my head is spinning. 

One thing we agree on (thank goodness!!!), is that we want a small wedding. Twenty people or less. 


Off to Pinterest…

No Monday Bitchfest Today

Other than Finn having to work Saturday (yay, overtime?), we had a good weekend. 

We went up to my dad’s, so Finn could help him replace the ceiling tiles in the living room. They’d fallen due to a combination of an earthquake that hit a few years ago and a tree that fell on the house. Fun stuff, I’m telling ya. 

At least they work well together

Well, after we left… 

This happened…

Yep, Finn bought me a ring. Since my divorce is still pending, our engagement and wedding are on hold, but the intent is still there…